~and I wish this could go on forever~

A month of school has already passed by, and this year for some reason the time seems to be escaping at a faster rate than ever.  Perhaps it is because I am nearing the end of my career rather than being at just the very beginning of it now 40 years ago.  Maybe it is due to the fact that there is more than a plenty to teach in 5th grade and just so many hours in the day are available to do it.  Each day my step counter makes it well past the "10,000 steps daily" mark that I aim for.  Many evenings when I take it off, it registers more than 12,000 steps.  In all honesty, I must admit that many of those walks down the long hallways at school wouldn't be necessary if I'd just remember what I walked all the way down to the other end of the hall to get.  

It comes with the territory I suppose.

I have settled into the 5th grade routine, something that I never once imagined myself saying or doing.  It has been a challenge to be sure.  They are often reminded of the fact that their classroom teacher was the founding member of the "I Hate Math Club of 1965-66 " during my own 5th grade year at Haven Grade School.  Yesterday we all got a laugh over something I said that the kids misunderstood at first.  Somehow or another one of the kids said that they wished I would move up to 6th grade and be their teacher once again.  Instantly and without hesitation I replied,

"No I don't think so. Fifth grade is bad enough!"

The shocked looks on their faces told me that they had misunderstood what I said.  I went on to explain that what they learn in middle school and high school these days is much different than I learned as a kid.  They didn't understand that what I meant was that I wasn't prepared to teach in those areas.  It is difficult for them to know just how much preparation it takes to be sure that I can present their 5th grade lessons to them in a manner they can understand and learn from.  After spending most of my career in the 1st and 2nd grade classrooms, advancing to the far end of the hallway has been quite a change for me. Their faces broke into smiles and we shared a giggle over what I really meant.  I have learned at nearly 64 that you still learn, grow, and change.  

Yesterday I did something that I don't believe I have ever done, at least not on purpose.  I'm not even sure what precipitated it but I am so glad that I did.  Our week had been busy with plenty of things that could cause some worry or stress.  Shortly before lunchtime we stopped what we were doing a few minutes early.  They were hungry and some of their faces looked as tired as their teacher's must have at that moment in time. I told them to all look at me and listen carefully to what I had to tell them.  I believe it was worth every bit of the class time it took to do it.

I spoke to them about the concept of carrying a bucket each day, one filled with plenty of water to make it through the 7 hours we are together at school.  They understood what I meant because we speak of this often.  There are plenty of times during the day when people are kind to us and say or do positive things to us causing our bucket to be filled up a little bit.  There are equally a number of times when negativity gets in the way.  Someone drains our water bucket with comments that don't make us feel worthy or valuable. You have to hope there is enough water left at the end of the day to get you home again.  

I looked at their sweet faces.
I couldn't help but to believe that some of them could use their bucket filled to make it through the afternoon.
And so I began.

"Did you know that your teacher loves you?  I want to put a little more water into your bucket."

"Do you remember that I always tell you that I wouldn't trade you guys for any other class, not even on our worst days?  There's a little more water for you."

 "Each of you is valuable and worthy to this world.   Can you realize that? There's a bit more water."

"You guys are so smart and have so much potential to change life for the better.  I would not trade you for a million dollars.  I hope your bucket is full now."

And then I added one more thought right before we lined up for lunch.

"And just in case you need a little to spare, something to keep in your "back pocket" should the time arise when someone or something unexpectedly drains the water in your bucket, I want you to remember this.  I am so glad that I came to be your teacher this year and that I learned that being a fifth grade teacher is not so bad after all, in fact it's pretty awesome."

When I made the decision to come to Ponca City to teach, it was after many prayers to guide the way.  I asked God to send me to a place that really needed me and to a class that would benefit from my help.  I knew then as I well know now, that it won't be long until I have to stop teaching.  At the least I will be in the classroom for two more years.  If my health stays well as it is now, I would like to stay a third year if I am still needed.  Time will tell.

I've devoted now a huge chunk of my nearly 64 years to teaching.  It is the only life I have known.  I have no regrets at all in the way this has all played out.  I was exactly where I was supposed to be at the time, teaching the very students that I was meant to have.

I love being a teacher.
It may sound crazy to some but I wish this could go on forever.
Sadly, I know it cannot.