~if Sherry was here~

I've said it so many times in the past 3 years.
And if I had a dollar for every time that I had done so, well I'd have a lot of dollars.
"If Sherry was here......."
My sister Sherry died June 16th, 2017 from the effects of her lifelong habit of smoking, a practice that she held onto until a few months before it finally took her life.  Sherry had end stage COPD and when her lungs had finally had enough, they gave up and so did she.  We buried her earthly remains on the Kansas prairie back home in Haven where one day I too will join her.  I visit her as often as I can these days and place flowers upon our gravestone.   Before she died, I promised Sherry that I would come to visit her at Laurel Cemetery and that seemed to make her happy.  There's something special about a promise and if you make one with another person, well then you need to do something about it.

And that something is to honor it.

 So very much has happened in the time that has passed since that day in mid June.  The world today is so very different than the one Sherry knew in her final days.  The great pandemic has arrived and in the days of the virus, my big sister would have definitely been one of those folks in the extremely vulnerable group.  I would have worried so much about her and that anxiousness leads me to say quite often,
"If Sherry was here, I'm not sure I could have protected her enough from Covid 19.  I'm relieved that she is already gone and safe in Heaven now."
She would have been quite upset with the strife in our country these days.  Sherry loved everyone and the color of someone's skin made zero difference to her because it's the way we kids were all brought up by parents who taught us that we all were of the same race, the human race.  In my mind I will always remember her as an educator who insisted on teaching in schools with the highest of poverty levels.  That was where she was the happiest and found the most joy and fulfillment.  If any of her students lacked for anything, Sherry was on it quickly and spent her own money to provide for them what was needed.  Her example was the one that I chose to follow as an educator and it was a legacy that she left behind.  I can't tell you how many times in Walmart I have said to Mike,
"If Sherry was here, she'd be right in the school supply aisle.  She'd be filling her cart with a thousand things to give away to any kid who might be without.  That's just the way she was."
After Sherry passed away and then Wes soon afterward, Mike and I realized that it was time for us to move on.  We had moved to Burkburnett, Texas in order to be closer to them.  It was a wonderful two years to have the chance to be with Sherry before the summer of '17.  We sure did so many things together, never realizing that our time would be so short lived.  For the next 7 months we looked in on Wes and helped him in whatever way we could.  On a cold winter day in early 2018, he too died.   Mike and I stayed along the Red River until the spring of 2019 and then we moved here to Kay County.  

 It just seemed the right thing to do.

I taught 3 more years without her being beside me.  There was no more calling Sherry after school to ask a question or talk about my day in the classroom.  I told her before she died that I didn't think I could go on as a teacher without her there to help me, to encourage me.  She looked at me square in the eyes and told me that I could.  There were plenty of challenges that I would have wished to ask her advice about and how many times Mike has heard me say,
"If Sherry was here, she'd know exactly what I should do.  She'd help me problem solve, talk about what I was having trouble with in the classroom, and end up allowing me to figure it out all on my own.  It was the listening part of getting advice from her that I yearned for the most. "
Life went on.
Time didn't stop.
I only thought it would.

"Happy 3rd anniversary of home going day Sherry!  I'll see you there.  I just know you'll be part of the welcoming committee."

 ~happy times in Altus, Oklahoma~
~the two most precious parts of their lives that Sherry and Wes left behind~ 


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