~plans to give you hope and a future~

The summer of 2020 is moving along at a rapid clip and we now find ourselves already in the middle part of July.  It's amazing how quickly the days of our lives fly by us, even during times of chaos and the pandemic.  Some people, like me at times, are already saying "Hurry up and get here 2021!"  This has been a time to endure and in the years that lie ahead, to always remember and not in the best of ways either.

Back in March, as a matter of fact the very first week of it, I made the decision that the 2019-2020 school year would be my last one.  After 40 years of teaching children in Kansas, Colorado, Texas and now in Oklahoma, I felt like it was time to move on and do whatever it was that retired people did.  Not even two weeks after I turned in my notification that I would not be returning, the pandemic arrived and the last quarter of the school year was taught and completed in a manner of virtual and continuous learning.  In amazement I realized that my teaching career, one that had begun in the small town of Haven, Kansas in August of 1979, would be ending in a way that I could have never predicted it would.

I never saw my students again in person after the last bell of the day rang on March 12th, but felt fortunate enough to be able to see them online as I taught them the remaining lessons of the fifth grade from my side of the computer screen here at home.  We did the best we could to make it to the final day of school on May 8th, even in that most unorthodox of ways.  For better or worse, school was out for the summer.

It was tough to not say good-bye to them or give them one final hug before we left.

A few days later I was allowed to return to my classroom for the first time in 2 months in order to gather my personal belongings and get things ready for the teacher who would replace me in the fall.  I was filled with extreme anxiety and dread as I unlocked the outer door of Liberty Elementary.  It was an eery feeling to return to a place that was frozen in time.  In its own way, coming back was scary and very lonely.  To see things just as we left them on our final day together before spring break was a sober reminder of all the time that we lost as a community of learners.  I worked hard to finish my room up in one day because I didn't want to have to go back in again.  When all was finished in the middle of the afternoon, I stopped to take a picture of myself before leaving.  Then I walked out of the classroom for the last time.

I never looked back.

It was strange to think that after over 4 decades in the classroom, my final "teacher" picture would look like this one.  

Right before leaving, I stopped to write this message on the old chalkboard along the west wall of my classroom, and then I did the only thing I knew how to do.  I cried.

The days that followed have been filled with plenty of time for self-reflection.  To be honest, I felt quite lost and if I was totally forthright, I would admit to becoming rather depressed.  My whole life had been devoted to the teaching and nurturing of children and now all of a sudden, that life was gone.  What on earth would I do with myself now that there was nothing else to do?  What would be my new purpose?  Covid 19 curtailed most of my original plans of travel to visit my grandchildren.  We found ourselves staying around home more and more, only venturing out to do what was considered essential for that day.  Mike and I both tried our best to stay healthy,  keep our spirits up, and our minds clear.  I was missing my teacher's life and I knew it was going to take a whole lot of getting used to.  I have to admit that there have been plenty of times this summer that I wasn't sure I would ever get used to it.

And that's a fact.

In late May I began reading a devotional book that I had found last fall in the little free library that is just down the block from our home in Newkirk.  For nearly 8 months, that book called "Draw the Circle" remained unopened inside a desk drawer.  I found it as I was cleaning one day and pulled it out.  All of a sudden I felt compelled to begin reading it each morning and to keep a prayer journal of those things that were on my mind and in my heart.  Day after day, I faithfully read it and prayed for many things.  A common thread that ran through each prayer page of my personal journal was the desire to find a job of some sort to keep me busy, help me to stay focused, and most importantly one that would be of some service to children and their families.  It hadn't taken me long this summer to realize that retirement isn't always what it is cracked up to be.  My fervent wish was to find something to do.

God works in such strange ways.
He has the habit of surprising us sometimes.

A week ago Sunday, I was in the backyard watering some of the plants and flowers.  When I finished up, the strangest of things happened.  For absolutely no reason at all, and I say that with all sincerity, I came in and sat down at my computer.  Without even hardly thinking, I opened up the website for Newkirk Public Schools and the first thing I saw was a job opening that had just been posted only 3 days earlier for a position at the elementary building.  I thought it was strange because it's rare for any spot to ever open up there.  I closed up my computer and did a few other things.  That job posting kept coming to mind and so I went back to the site again and read it once more.  I waited until late in the evening to tell Mike about what I had found and it was clear by the look on his face that he knew exactly what I was going to do.

I interviewed for the position the following morning and by mid-week I had received an offer for the job.  It didn't take me long to accept and so it happened.  I went from being a teacher who was going to retire and only work part time, to a teacher who is still very much needed in this world.  I'm looking forward to serving the families of our new home community here in Kay County.  It might have taken me nearly 65 years to find Newkirk Elementary but I made it,  just in time.  I know in my heart that without a doubt, there is someone here who needs me.

Quietly behind the scenes, the universe has been realigning itself on my behalf during this summer of the virus.  I was preparing myself for retirement but God was preparing me for something quite different.  I go forward in faith, unafraid and ready to serve yet one more time.  Now the message of my confirmation verse from when I was a young girl back in Haven, Kansas comes to mind with an even deeper meaning than before.  

These words I do believe.

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

          From the Good Book, Jeremiah 29:11-13

~my prayer journal entry from June 10th~

I prayed to be surprised and that's exactly what happened!