Regaining my confidence, along the road to home


 Newkirk has a wonderful little shop on Main Street that serves the most delicious cold/hot drinks around.  I have always enjoyed a particular beverage and made it a habit to get one as often as I could.  Going to the Mercantile became a "Saturday morning" thing for both Mike and I to do.  We looked forward to it each weekend with Mike getting his specialty coffee and a bagel while I stayed true to my own choice as pictured above.

That all changed after I got hurt in October.

After being released from rehab in early November, I made my way back home to Kay County.  I vowed that I had no intention of leaving this house until the springtime flowers made their appearance in mid-March.  There was no way I was going to risk getting hurt again and I meant it.  That steadfast vow lasted all of about a month when I realized that staying in the house like a hermit was not going to make me get better any quicker.  Getting out and about was the thing that I needed to do.

Mike and I started out with short car rides, mostly because it was exhausting to safely get to the car and then actually get inside, buckle up, and take off for the journey.  In December when I was finally cleared to drive on my own (and that was only with wearing the back brace), I began to take short drives around town.  I always loved to go down Main Street and when I did, the Mercantile was always a place that I'd go by.  Oh, how I longed to go back in and look around once more at the many things they had to offer.  I could just about taste that cold drink that had once been a staple in my diet.  I doubted that I would ever be able to experience that feeling once again.

I was wrong.

I'm not sure what late December day it even was, but somehow or another as I drove past the Mercantile my car just automatically turned to park in front of it.  It was one of those "now or never" moments for me as I grabbed my cane and purse and got out of the car to head inside.  Talk about being nervous.  I surely was.  I had only been using the cane for a matter of a few weeks and I still had some issues with walking as I used it.  I was determined and nothing was going to stop me, not even my fear of falling and getting hurt.  I took that first step up onto the sidewalk and headed to the door.

I had made it!

I couldn't have been inside for more than a few minutes as I precariously hung on to the cane.  I explained that it was my very first time for such an adventure since the accident, and that I might need someone to help me take my drink to the car.  I'll never forget the feeling of relief that came over me as I settled back inside the car and enjoyed a few sips of my drink before backing out.

That "first time" was now months ago.  I graduated from having someone carry my drink out for me to being able to cautiously do it on my own.  This morning's journey was absolutely the best attempt for me as I not once gave a thought to the fact that I might not make it to the car safely.  I had confidence in myself that allowed me to truly enjoy stopping in and to be right honest, it felt pretty good! I wish I could say that my confidence has totally returned, but I know it has not.  I have a ways to go before I get there, but each day provides yet another chance for me to do even better in that respect.  

I've been working in my new classroom each day, trying my best to get things organized and ready for that first day of school that is about a month away.  I've been practicing going down the long hallways on my own without the use of a cane for support.  Thankfully it's getting a little easier for me, but I still think it's important to at least have a cane along with me just in case it is needed.  The ultimate goal for me would be to no longer rely upon a cane for support and if I keep practicing at it, I might just be able to meet that goal.

I'm not giving up, ever!

Perhaps the greatest lesson I have learned from this traumatic experience is to realize the effect it has not only on your physical health but your mental and emotional health as well.  There's no way I'd lie about this.  It has been extremely tough at times to keep a positive and healthy attitude about the whole recovery process.  It's during those rough times that I have been so thankful for the support of others.  When I was subbing for the last nine weeks this past year, every person I encountered at school was so kind, helpful, and understanding.  Without their empathy towards my plight, I'm not sure I could have made it through the entire time.  Now those very same folks will be my teaching colleagues next month as school begins for the 2024-2025 school year.  

I should be in very good hands!


This was my first journey to the end of the block and home again back in December.  You can't imagine how tired I was, but I was determined to do it. 3 weeks later I got rid of the walker and began to use a cane instead.  I celebrated even the little things, which were actually great big things to me.  


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