The Ups and Downs of Growing Old/I Don't Bounce Back Like I Used To

After breaking my back in the autumn of 2023, I came to realize one thing immediately.   I don't bounce back like I used to.

When I was young and growing up on the farm back home in Kansas, we lived in an old two-story farmhouse where all the kids' bedrooms were upstairs.  I can recall bounding up and down those steps, day in and day out, without even breaking a sweat.  Just for fun sometimes, I'd come down the steps every other one.  These days, I steady myself with my cane as I gingerly step-down taking care not to fall. 

As a young mother with three children in tow, I used to delight in hauling baskets full of wet laundry to the clothesline each Saturday.  It was a task that I really enjoyed knowing full well that the clean clothes would smell like sunshine and the great outdoors!  Now it is a huge chore to carry much more than a couple of pounds because of the strain it puts upon my sorely aching back.  

There was a time that I rode my bike all over the place, one year putting in hundreds of miles to prepare for the 2011 Bike Across Kansas.   It was nothing to take a quick 10-mile ride each day with nothing to worry about except the occasional 20 mph south headwind that I encountered while on the bike path.  I delighted in coasting downhill at speeds that in retrospect were on the dangerous side, but I didn't really even care because I loved the feeling of the wind blowing in my face.  Now because of the injuries to my back, I find it difficult to stand or sit for too long.  Walking is painful.

It is surely the truth.

I don't bounce back like I once did.

These days, nearly 16 months out from my accident here at home, I rely on a cane to give me much needed strength and support.  Every step I take, from the moment I get up in the morning until I lay my head down on my pillow at night, is done with care. Falling and further injuring my back is something I never want to do.  I feel most comfortable sitting in a hard back chair, but I only sit about 10 minutes or so before I need to get up and walk once again.  I can stand but not for long. There is pain always, but I guess I have just gotten used to it.  I've kind of forgotten what life used to be like before I got hurt and the times when I was normal just like you.  

One of the daily devotions I had not many mornings ago, reminded the reader that it's important to thank God even in our hard times.  All of us eagerly accept the good days, the times when we haven't a care in the world.   Challenging times, those that we wish would never come, need to be accepted too.  

I am trying my best to do just that.

I only remember a few things about that helicopter ride to the trauma hospital.  They told me it would be a bumpy flight, but not to worry because I would be sound asleep anyway.  I'm so thankful they were able to transfer me right away that October evening.  God spared my life!

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